In no particular order:
- Dads wear milk. Yes they do.
- I like the idea of carrying a baby in a sling, but do I have to look so flamingly gay as I do it?
- No single task a parent does is difficult or particularly time-consuming.
-
The tasks just never...
...ever...
...ever...
...stop. - After 1:00 a.m., Cartoon Network keeps me sane.
- Sane. Yes, I know what that word means.
- Things that would be nice to have along with the twins:
- A third arm would help.
- A second head wouldn't hurt.
- But a brain the size of a planet would be bloody useless.
- Having a towel handy at all times is every bit as useful as the book says.
- Shower? I can't remember. Why do you ask?
- Sleep is the best thing. Ever.
- Babies can get a hell of a grip on your chest hair.
- What is the sound of one hand typing? A child-holding daddygeek.
- Babies wait until the old diaper is pulled out to really let loose on the new one underneath. If you're lucky, you're leaning close to fasten the closure on a new type of diaper, and you get it in the face to boot.
- You know about that new-diaper-under-the-old trick because of sad experience.
- If you ever have to dress a sack of spastic potatoes, you're set.
- Breast milk in coffee is actually pretty good. (It was the tail-end of a bottle. Jeez...)
- A baby's wail is the ultimate hammer, negotiation-wise.
- Or maybe it's when they reach up toward your face as you feed them. That's like crack.
- Even though I feel like I look like one of those guys in that Romero flick muttering "brains.....", life is very, very good.